A Man’s Image
by Otaku Raven
Summary: Curt joins Brian on tour; discoveries and changes are made. ~*COMPLETE*~
1. Reunion

Disclaimer – Despite the fantasy that Curt Wild lives in my closet along with Darren Hayes, none of the characters in the following story belong to me. They are the sole property of Todd Haynes and Miramax films. This is just for entertainment and no money is being made.

Title – A Man's Image

Rating – R (language and drug use and slash oh my!)

Summary – Curt joins Brian on tour; discoveries and changes are made.

Dedication – Again to the mighty Silverhawk because without her, I might have never seen this movie. This is also in honor of my hearing Darren Hayes' "Insatiable" on the radio for the first time today : )

A Man's Image

He shoved another dirty lock of brown hair behind his ear as he continued to saunter down the sidewalk and towards the large hotel. Reaching into his jacket pocket he pulled out a cigarette after fingering the small, newly acquired collection of keys which resided in the leather pouch as well. Placing the thin cylinder between his lips, he lighted it just as the doors were opened for him and he stepped into the lush hotel. 

The young man stood out like an oil spot on white carpet as he walked towards the stairs. People around him cast shocked and disapproving looks at this unkempt youth. The long, greasy hair. The tight black leather pants and jacket. The slightly heeled black boots. The black eyeliner and nail polish. Curt Wild ignored them and went directly towards the stairs and managed to ascend a few feet before he was stopped.

"Excuse me, sir," came a shrill female voice behind him. "Sir . . . sir!"

Curt whirled around when he felt the hand on his leather-clad arm and he roughly jerked out of the tiny woman's grasp.

"Don't fuckin' touch me," he growled in an annoyed voice.

"I'm sorry sir," She said without missing a beat. "But you cannot go up unless you are a resident or are visiting one."

"Well lucky me 'cause it just so happens," he reached into his pocket and pulled out his keys. "I'm livin' here now."

The woman clearly did not believe him.

"If you would allow me check your name at the front desk -"

"Curt Wild," he said waving the keys in front of her face. "You got it? Now get the hell away from me . . . go on!"

The woman shrunk back away from him and languidly walked back to her desk after watching him stalk up the stairs.

Curt scanned the room numbers looking for 58. He'd only arrived in only London today and Jerry had been at the plane to greet him. Brian was busy promoting his album but was extremely eager to see him. Jerry gave Curt the keys to Brian's room and told him how to get there. Curt never really cared much for Jerry, but he had to admit he was useful. 

Curt spied number 58 and quickly slipped his key into the lock. After hearing it slide back, he opened the door and headed inside not bothering to lock it behind him. 

"Shit," he said softly when he viewed the room. Lush carpets, posh furniture, large comfortable bed, and an enormous bath. Pretty fucking sweet if he did say so himself. He inhaled deeply on the cigarette and exhaled slowly, watching as the smoke filled the space before him. 

It was then that he heard someone outside the room. Quickly, Curt snuffed out the cigarette in a nearby ashtray and hid behind the door. He watched as someone inserted a key and then heard some faint sounds of confusing upon finding the door already unlocked. Slowly the door opened and as soon as Curt was able to make out the unmistakable figure of Brian Slade before him, he rushed foreword. Curt covered Brian's mouth with his hand keeping the yell of surprise in his throat and, slipping an arm around his waist, swung him around in a few circles before setting him down again.

"Did you miss me?"

Without even truly looking at him, Brian whirled around and kissed Curt hard on the mouth. They hadn't seen one another in almost three weeks and Brian had hurried back to the room when Jerry had informed him that he'd given Curt the key.

Brian tasted the bitterness of the cigarette in Curt's mouth but he was not repelled, nor could he recall ever being so. Quite the opposite, he'd almost wept because he'd missed it so much. Brian pulled back but before he could say anything Curt kissed him again. They were locked in their passionate embrace for another long moment before he managed to successfully step back. 

"Very much," he said smiling.

Brian suddenly reached out and attempted to run his hand through Curt's hair, but he failed to do its sticky texture. The brown locks were stiff from hair spray, probably from the night before. 

"You're killing it you know," he commented.

"I am not," Curt defended. "But maybe you should start taking care of it for me."

"Maybe I should," Brian responded.

Brian became silent suddenly. He was staring off into space pondering. 

"What?" Curt questioned.

"Let me dye your hair."

"What?"

"Let me dye your hair," he repeated.

"Why?"

"Because it will be fun and you need a change."

"I need a change? What about you? You've have the same hair since I've known you too."

Brian paused for a moment. 

"Okay," he said. "Then you can do mine too."

Curt placed his hands on his hips and looked Brian over closely before he surrendered. 

"All right."

"Great!" Brian exclaimed like a little boy. "Come here."

Curt followed Brian over to the door where a large white shopping bag lay unsuspecting on the floor. Inside, Curt spied dozens of hair dye boxes.

"What the hell?" he said. "You just happen to have all this?"

"No, I got these the other day," Brian said. "Everyone said they wanted to try something new, so why not us?"

Brian picked the bag up and overturned it on the nearby bed.

"Come on," he said. "Pick something."

Curt looked through the various colors but stopped when he noticed that Brian was not doing as he was.

"Aren't you gonna find somethin'?" he questioned.

"I already have something, but it's not in there."

"Then where the hell is it?"

"Come on just pick something and then you can see."

Grunting, Curt rummaged through the boxes again but stopped suddenly and held up one.

"This is it," he said proudly.

Brian looked closely at the front.

"Blue?" he questioned.

"Yeah," Curt grinned. "It'll go good with your eyes don't you think?"

Brian looked closer at the cover of the box. He'd never expected Curt to pick blue, all though he wasn't sure why. This was Curt Wild. Anyway, it might be cool to have an unnatural color. He'd actually been wanting to do it for while just never seemed to get around to it.

"Yeah," he answered. "I think it will."

Curt came closer.

"So what are you gonna do to mine?"

Brian walked over to yet another small bag and pulled out a medium sized bottle.

"Bleach?" Curt exclaimed. "You're bitchin' to me 'bout killin' my hair and you're gonna bleach it?"

"Well I thought about this long and hard," Brian said. "And I've decided it suits you."

"What are you sayin' that I'm grimy or somethin'," Curt asked smiling.

"Yup."

"Okay, as long as we're clear."

Before Brian could say anything more he felt Curt's mouth on his again. He could not remember Curt being like this, urgent as he was. Curt seemed so demanding, so needing. However, it made Brian feel secretly good. From the way he was acting, he could ascertain that Curt was being faithful to him, at least for the most part. Curt had opened Brian's mouth and was letting his tongue taste the inside of him. Brian sighed and took great pleasure in his lover's exploration, but he pulled back.

"Are we gonna do this or not?"

Curt paused for a moment and then became vivacious again.

"You're the one who likes foreplay," he said. "I really don't care."

Curt reached for the bottom of Brian's shirt and pulled it up and over his head leaving him clad only in his silky white pants.

"That's not what I meant," Brian said. "I was talking about our hair." 

Brian kissed him again and ran his hands up his shoulders, which were still coated in leather. He quickly removed the jacket and let it fall to the floor. Curt's now revealed shirt was white with small gathered cuffs and hung loosely on his thin body. At this point, Brian could not have cared less about the dye. As their kisses became more and more torrid Curt pushed Brian back onto the bed. The two of them mindlessly kicked away the endless boxes of dye as they continued in their passion play. 

Quickly, Curt shred his shirt and Brian, with some effort, removed his tight leather pants. Brian could swear that Curt's hands were leaving small bruises on him as he liberated him of his own trousers yet continued kissing him with insatiable lips. All the passion that had been building up while they had been apart was now emancipating itself upon them. Brian swiftly wiggled out of his boxers and the two of them were soon wrestling around naked on the still-made bed. Curt moaned when he felt Brian's hands reach down and stroke his ever-growing erection. Brian smiled to himself that he was able to tame the infamous Mr. Wild, and it really did not take very much.

Without any warning however, Curt slipped his hands under Brian and smoothly flipped him over onto his stomach. Brian yelped softly when he felt Curt's teeth close in on the tender flesh of the back of his neck. Not much more time to meditate on that however because he soon after felt Curt thrust himself inside him. Brian moaned under him and gripped the sheets tightly with his hands as he fell into rhythm with the man behind him. Curt was nibbling at his shoulder blades and groaning into his ear as he quickly brought the both of them to a shuddering pinnacle. After a moment of repose Curt pulled away from Brian and fell into place beside him. Brian turned his head to look at him as his chest rose and fell rapidly.

"I really did miss you," Brian said.

Curt smiled and took Brian's hand in his own, lifting it up to his mouth and kissing it gently.

"Yeah I know," he said.

Brian smiled and cuddled up next to him. Curt slipped his arms around him and soon they both fell into a light and comfortable sleep.

To be continued. 


	2. Rebirth

Brian was the first to awaken. Curt was dozing close to him and he studied his sleeping face for a long moment. Gently he ran his fingers over his closed eyelids, cheek and lips. Carefully Brian pulled away from him and sat on the edge of the bed. He stretched his arms high above his head and waited for his eyes to come into focus. The room was quite a mess after their heated enterprise. Their clothes were thrown all over the floor along with the several boxes of dye. Brian stood and reached for his white pants, languidly slipping them on. It was then that he noticed what looked like a small case halfway sticking out of the breast pocket of Curt's leather jacket. 

Curious, Brian walked over and picked the jacket up. The small plastic case fell out and Brian's heart instantly sank. He picked up the container and looked inside. Safe inside the clear plastic were two small syringes, two needles and two small packets of a yellowish brown subsistence. Brian wanted to cry. Curt has sworn to him that he was off heroin. Anger and betrayal was flowing through his veins like rip current. He walked over to Curt's still sleeping form and violently shoved him.

"Curt," he yelled.

Curt instantly stirred and groggily opened his eyes. 

"Wh-What?"

"What the fuck is this?!" Brian screamed at him.

He could see Curt's face pale as he looked at the small container Brian was holding in this slender hand.

"Brian . . ." he began to explain. 

"No," Brian interrupted. "I sick of hearing this shit from you. You told me you were off it!"

"You don't understand," Curt said getting out of the bed. "I have been off it."

"Then what the hell are you doing with this?!" Brian shouted.

"Would you lower your fuckin' voice," Curt asked roughly as he picked up and slid on his pants. "And let me talk."

Brian was too fuming at the moment to think of anything else to say so he waited to hear Curt's explanation. 

"I swear I have been off the stuff for almost a month now," Curt said. "I just brought a little along for a small hit."

"Like what?" Brian asked. "Like a reward? You're willing to throw a month of being clear down the fuckin' toilet just for another hit? And that doesn't look like a fuckin' small amount to me!"

"It's not all for me," Curt defended. "I. . . I brought some for you." 

Brian was speechless. 

"I thought you could do it with me," he added.

"Have you lost your bloody mind?" Curt said loudly. "What the hell makes you think I would want any of that shit anyway?"

"I don't know man," Curt said. "I just wanted to share some of this with you. It's not like this little amount is gonna hurt you. . . have you ever tried it?"

Brian shook his head.

"No."

"It's like nothing you've ever had before man," he said. "It's amazing."  
"I don't care."

"Listen to me," Curt began softly. "I wouldn't have brought if I knew you were gonna react this way. I brought it for you, for us, so that you could try it. It's only a little amount Brian, it's not gonna hurt you."

"No Curt, I don't want to become dependent."

"You won't."

"How do you know?" Brian questioned. "How do you know that this won't trigger my past addiction?"

Brian looked away. He had confided in Curt a while ago that when he was in high school he'd had a problem with cocaine but he'd managed to kick it after a painstakingly long process. He'd had a horrible trip where he saw himself older in a rundown motel room with a nameless lover at his side surrounded by piles of cocaine. Everyone was angry with him, even people he'd never known. He did not want to end up like that. 

"I won't let that happen Brain," Curt said. "I swear."

Brain looked back up at him. As much as he wanted to deny it, there was no point. He wanted to try it, he'd wanted to try it for as long as he could remember. Curt was looking at him with gentle and trusting eyes now. _I won't let that happen._ He wanted to yell back at him, "How can you swear Curt? You're not God you know." However his lips formed much different words.

"All right."

The words were a sigh.

Curt's green eyes were smiling, but his mouth remained placid. Brain watched as Curt carefully took the small case from Brain's limp grip. Curt walked over to where his thin leather belt had been discarded and picked it up.

"Come here," Curt said as he sat down on the plush carpet of the bedroom and folded his legs. Brain slowly went and sat at his side. Curt reached back and pulled a small silver lighter out of his jacket which was lying beside him. Curt cursed suddenly and went into the tiny kitchen in the room. Brain watched as he rummaged around and eventually returned to him with a small spoon. 

With eyes wide like an innocent youth, Brain watched as Curt went to work. He opened the packet and shook its brownish contents into the spoon along with what looked like water. Using the blunt end of a pin he stirred its contents until it was a smooth liquid. Curt willed a tiny flame from his lighter and held it under the metal, watching like a mother watches her child as the precious liquid began to bubble and turn light brown. It only took a few moments before he used his free hand to place the needle on the syringe a greedily suck the drug up into it. 

Curt looked closely at Brain.

"You want it first?"

Brain swallowed. He couldn't believe this was happening. He could not fathom that he was going to do this, especially when he knew full and well how dangerous this could become. But it was only one hit right? What harm could one hit really do?

"Yeah."

"You're sure?"

Brain was a little taken back. It seemed Curt really did want him to do this willingly. 

"Yeah," he whispered again.

Curt nodded slightly and slid closer to Brian on the floor. He reached forward and wrapped his belt around Brain's thin arm several times and then gave it one harsh pull until it was good and tight. Brain's eyes never wavered from Curt as he quickly slapped his arm forcing Brain's veins to make their presence known to him. Curt looked deep into Brain's eyes searching for a sign of rejection and, upon finding none, put the needle through Brain's skin and into his prominent vein. 

Brain winced as he felt the sharp intrusion. Slowly, Curt began to empty the drug into him and Brain almost immediately began to feel himself sway back and forth with the new feeling swimming inside him. Brain thought he heard Curt's voice asking him if he was okay but he was unable to make any type of intelligent response. 

Curt smiled slightly and removed the belt from his arm. Brain drowsily watched as Curt repeated the entire process for himself. It wasn't long before Curt had his belt wrapped around his own arm and soon he injected that same intoxicating drug into his own system. Almost before it truly happened, Curt lapsed back into the familiar swoon. 

Curt closed his eyes but after what seemed like only a few seconds, reopened them when he felt Brain trying to crawl into his lap. Without saying anything Curt locked his arm around Brain's back and leaned back onto the thick floor. Once Curt felt his back come into contact with the loving carpet Brain snaked his arm around to rest on his neck and snuggled into his chest, listening to the sound of his heart as it kept its rhythm. 

The two of them remained silent cuddled together on the floor and let the euphoria flow through their bodies in languid waves. Every now and then Brain would moan softly and Curt's arms would lock around him a little tighter. They lay on the floor and fell into a near dream-like state, but after about a half an hour, Curt could feel himself coming down from his plateau. 

Brain's body was not used to the drug, thus his pleasure lasted longer than did Curt's. However, Curt waited patiently for him, idly stroking his soft hair and watching as his eyes twitched and struggled between opening or remaining closed. He leaned down and kissed him on his smooth lips and he felt the mindless response.

Around two hours later, everything had been modified. Their hair had been cleaned and changed drastically. Curt's hair was now a harsh blond, which gave him an almost feline-like appearance. Brain's was a deep blue which made his lovely eyes seem all the more exquisite. Curt had put his loose shirt on again but Brain was still only clad in his white pants.

"Oh," Brain suddenly said. "I almost forgot. I've got something I want you to have."

Curt regarded him as he reached for his suitcase that he opened after placing it on the bed. After looking around for a little he found what he was looking for. He opened a small velvet box, removed a tiny object and walked back over to his paramour. Curt followed Brain's thin fingers as they placed a small green pin on his oversized shirt.

"Curt, a man's life is his image."

Curt looked down and examined the pin before he looked back up at Brain. His hand reached out and gently touched the side of his face, drawing him in so that he could kiss him chastely on the cheek. Concurrently their arms went out and embraced the other warmly, hearts pressed together, as time stood still. 

The End.


End file.
